Yara Blog


I DON’T WANT YOUR BABY


Monday, March 11th, 2013  

The first time I mentioned, to the hearing of my mother, that I would like to adopt a child when I was older, I was sharply rebuked. This reaction left me puzzled, for though I had heard someone saying before that Nigerians weren’t favorably disposed to adoption, I had waved it off because I couldn’t believe anyone would be opposed to what in my opinion was a benevolent gesture. So, I set out to find out the truth about Nigerians’ attitude towards adoption, and here’s what I discovered.

www.ellieswonder.blogspot.com

www.ellieswonder.blogspot.com

Having a child is one of the yardsticks by which the success of a marriage is measured; therefore infertility can be one of the strongest sources of pressure on a marriage. Sometimes, the woman (who mostly bears the brunt of the stigma of infertility in our society) is made to believe that without children, her place has not been secured in her husband’s home [Ginger’s blog]. Adoption is one of the options that can be used to manage the situation.

Upon research on the subject, my fears were confirmed. The Ebunoluwa orphanage confirmed that in Nigeria, customs and traditions have it that children who cannot be cared for by their parents are taken in by someone within their extended family, but the idea of taking in or adopting a child who is not somehow related to the family is highly uncommon.

In a survey by Ezugwu of 264 women who were having difficulty conceiving in South-Eastern Nigeria to determine their knowledge, attitude and practice of child adoption, it was shown that 183 of them [69.3%] were unwilling to adopt, while only 81[30%] were willing to consider adoption.

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The Mystery Behind a Handshake


Thursday, February 14th, 2013  

 

Ever since I was young, there was something about when a person stretched out their hand to join the hand of another person that fascinated me. For so long, I did not know why people ‘joined hands’, but I figured that it was just something you did when you met

www.crystalgraphics.com

www.crystalgraphics.com

someone. I asked myself whether it was mandatory; I also wondered whether it would be rude to reject a handshake. After some study and research on the gist behind a simple handshake, I have discovered that there is more to it that meets the eye. Generally, some say that it is a custom, a mere convention carried out by people. Others say that there is science behind a single handshake, and those who read body language see a lot of importance in a handshake. Some secret societies, like the Masons, use them to identify apprentices and members of their society. Here is some insight on what I discovered.

Historically, the joining of hands can be traced back to Ancient Greece, as far back as the 5th century BC, where it was originally thought to symbolize peace, as both hands were not holding weapons. In modern times, it has been associated with good first impressions, especially in the business world. Ladies engage in handshakes in the work place as a sign of gender equality, while they may offer their fingers for a kiss in social gatherings.

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THE RAPE CHRONICLES – A Place for Date Rape?


Friday, August 24th, 2012  

Date rape is the common term for non-consensual sexual (vaginal, anal, oral) intercourse that is forced (by way of physical force or

psychological coercion) on a person by someone that they know. Date rape is a complex and difficult area of criminal law, given the nature of the relationship between the victim and the accused.  However, most jurisdictions like ours, make no legal distinction between date rape and rape. This is even though it is well known that rape occurs far more often between people already acquainted than between strangers.

(Date) Rape cases may also take the form of emotional or financial coercion as opposed to the regular physical coercion. Where the rapist is placed in a higher position, he may use his position to harass and intimidate a woman to succumb to his sexual demands. By instilling fear through threats, a woman in that circumstance who succumbs can hardly be said to have given her consent. Where the rapists threatens to withhold or refuse promotions, money, examination results or anything due to the victim, the eventual intercourse would also fall under the heading of rape. In these cases, there will be no form of physical evidence.

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THE RAPE CHRONICLES – Rape A Gender Question?


Friday, August 17th, 2012  

There are not many criminal acts as invasive, as degrading and as traumatizing as the act of rape. The victim becomes scarred for life, and many times, ends up with significant psycho-sexual challenges. It was conceived to be so reprehensible in the old days that the Law of Moses in the Old Testament of the Bible stipulated that the rapist be put to death. (Deut.22:25-26).

Rape is simply defined as non-consensual sex. But, in that definition lies the error of simplicity. It certainly raises more questions than it answers. What if the victim “invited” the non-consensual sex, perhaps by her dressing or her attitude? What if she didn’t struggle or cry for help?  What if both parties were drunk? What if the “rapist” heard yes when the victim was really saying no? What if she was not particularly forced, but was only emotionally coerced? Or financially coerced?

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